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Ying: Welcome to ADHD Gathering, a podcast, highlighting diverse narratives within the ADHD community and amplifying strength from real ADHD folks. I’m your host Ying, also known as ADHD Asian Girl across all social media.
Let’s tune in to today’s show.
Rach Idowu aka Adulting ADHD was diagnosed with ADHD combined type. She has since spent years raising awareness about ADHD and advocating for inclusion in workplaces. Rach is the creator of the ‘ADHD Flashcards’, a go-to resource for understanding ADHD and practical coping strategies. She launched the highly successful ‘Adulting ADHD’ Substack newsletter, which now boasts over 11,000 subscribers. Rach’s work R has been featured in numerous publications, including the New York times, BBC and National Geographic. She has also been a guest speaker at MCM, Comic Con, EGX, [00:01:00] Facebook, Twitter, and many other organizations. Rach enjoys performing improv, gaming, and cosplaying, and is a diehard Marvel fan.
Ying: It’s so nice to have you on here. first met Rach on Twitter. We chatted around Twitter and sort become internet friends. And so it’s really lovely to connect with her today.
Rach: Thanks for having me. I’m Rach Idowu. I usually go by AdultingADHD online. I’m 30 years old from London, and I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type when I was 26, unexpectedly. And since then, I’ve been raising awareness about ADHD online, in person, at conferences. And in companies and anywhere else I can raise awareness about ADHD.
So yeah, happy to be here.
Ying: Yeah, I would love to start kind of the genesis story of all ADHD people like what made you suspect you might have ADHD and how did you approach the process because I got diagnosed also around 26 also very unexpectedly so I’m [00:02:00] very curious about
Rach: It’s an unconventional story, I should say. I just started noticing that I would forget things. I was a bit all over the place but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. And that’s probably the one A DHD trait that really resonated me so much. So I went to Google like we all do, and I started Googling, if you do this or what does this mean?
And I arrived at early onset dementia and funnily enough, at that time I was 24. So 24-year-old thinking I probably have early onset dementia. That’s quite ludicrous, right? Anyways, I went to my GP and booked an appointment and told her, look, I think I have early onset dementia. She, of course, found it quite ridiculous.
Don’t blame her. But then she asked me to do a test and it was a memory test on the spot where I had to say a few words that she said backwards. So it was random words like dog, plane, beach words I would obviously remember. And so I remember I said it backwards and she said since you passed that test, I don’t think you have [00:03:00] early onset dementia.
It could be that you’re just disoriented because you’ve traveled a bit much. And that was it. So I went away. This was in 2016 and felt, okay I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Let’s just carry on fast forward to 2018. Things started to worsen. I started to notice the way I procrastinated wasn’t normal compared to somebody else.
The consequences as a result of my procrastination was insane compared to someone, who’s neurotypical, procrastinating and getting it done in the end. Again, forgetfulness, impulsive decision making, ADHD tax. I still couldn’t put my finger on it.
And then I saw a documentary about ADHD, which is one that the community absolutely dislikes. And I agree, it’s not a great representation, but seeing adults on that. documentary, getting emotional and struggling things that I struggled with. I thought, okay, maybe it is ADHD. Booked an appointment. My GP said, I don’t think you have ADHD.
You’ve graduated. You’ve got [00:04:00] a good job. You can’t have ADHD. And I practically had to beg her to refer me. And then she said I’ll refer you, but it’s going to take up to two years. And I thought she was just, saying that to dissuade me, but no, she was right. It took about a year and six months until I finally got diagnosed.
And within that year and six months, I saw two psychiatrists and then got my formal diagnosis.
Ying: So it’s a long time and it took a lot of your self advocating . And that goes into my question of I know you are a second generation immigrant as well as people of color. Me too. I’m first generation immigrant, people of color, women. We held daytime jobs like I paid taxes. I had a job. I had graduated. So somehow the professionals out there think people like us couldn’t have ADHD. So I would love for you to share more about how that intersectionality plays out in your life.
Rach: That’s a really good point. So being like a second generation immigrant, although anyone, if first, second, third generation [00:05:00] immigrant, Our parents when they’ve come to the West and we’re faced with racism, prejudice, all of the discrimination.
And so growing up, I’m sure you might have heard this or some listeners may have heard this that, you have to work twice as hard just to be, seen and noticed at school and in the workplace. Growing up when it comes to ADHD, autism and things that fall under the neurodiversity umbrella, there’s so much stigma attached to it that a lot of our parents don’t want us to have that label because one we are women, we are women of color and then having disability on top of that just adds another layer of complication and another barrier.
And so growing up conversations around, let’s say ADHD and autism. For me it was like naughty boys had ADHD. As a woman, you couldn’t have ADHD and there was such a negative connotation behind that. And so never in a million years would I thought that what I was experiencing growing up could have been ADHD because of the stigma and the stereotypes.
And then when I [00:06:00] eventually got diagnosed with ADHD, everyone was like, wait, what? You ADHD? Seriously? And I’m like, yeah experience growing up with undiagnosed ADHD from like an ethnic minority background can be pretty difficult. And I know it’s even worse for other people where they manage to get assessed and diagnosed and their parents may not want them to start medication or be attached with that label so they don’t seek out extra support for their kids.
Ying: Yeah. What are some signs that now you look back to your childhood Oh, this could be related to my ADHD. Like for me, for example, I always read novels before I did my homework. I really liked reading, but it was just procrastination. It was like, I didn’t want to do my homework.
What are some of your signs?
Rach: I think the biggest one was the hyperactive trait. So I was very impatient. I really hated like waiting in queues or lines. I would just jump the gun. I’d call out in school, like I wouldn’t even put my hand up. I’ll just call out and blow it out because I need to get it out.
Fidgeting was a big one for me I was very restless, I would get up and I [00:07:00] need to walk around, so you know the saying, that person has ants in their pants. And I remember one of my school teachers told my dad at parents evening that I had the attention span of a goldfish. Which is quite funny when you think of it and now. Saying all of that I actually had to see a school counsellor because it was just out of control and I’m just thinking I saw a school counsellor and none of the teachers could have thought Maybe she has ADHD. So the signs were all there back then.
Ying: It’s just the fact of we don’t fit into that typical ADHD story that somehow made the system and the individuals in the system ignored that we could have ADHD too.
Rach: It’s weird because at that time when I was a teenager, let’s say 12, 13, 14, you could see the hyperactive side of ADHD. And maybe because I went to an all girls school, it was very hard to differentiate and they had nobody else to compare it to. So maybe they would just thought, Oh, it was just me being me, but the signs were very apparent as a teenager.
Ying: [00:08:00] I’m curious about knowing your ADHD story now and that you’re doing so much advocacy work in the world, what’s the dialogue look like with your parents, with your family, or with your loved ones?
Rach: And that looks good, like I’m lucky enough to have such a supportive family but I will say I didn’t tell them that I was going through the ADHD diagnosis process, because one, I wasn’t sure if, I thought I had ADHD, but I wasn’t sure if I was, because like I mentioned, I thought I had early onset dementia, and it wasn’t that.
My next step was, okay, if it’s not ADHD, it’s probably a brain tumor and that’s because I watched Grey’s Anatomy, and there was a doctor, he was just exhibiting so many traits, Dr. Amelia Shepherd. And it turned out she had a brain tumor. So I was like, okay, maybe that’s going to be the next one on my list.
So I didn’t really want to say anything until I was sure, but then when I did, they’re like, Oh, that makes sense. You zone out when we’re talking, you’re not organized, you’re all over the place. Like I can see it. It’s so obvious. And then now I have like friends and distant family [00:09:00] members coming up to me saying, do you think I have ADHD? I’m doing this.
So it’s nice to be the person that they feel comfortable to speak to about it.
Ying: That’s amazing. So you become like the connection point, the outlet to some extent. I love that.
Ying: We’ll take a little break from the show and talk about my ADHD coaching. So if you’re interested in accomplishing more by doing less, building your ADHD resiliency, amplifying your strengths, as well as craft your own ADHD toolbox and narratives. I’m currently taking 1 on 1 coaching clients. So feel free to visit adhdasiangirl.com/coaching and book a free coaching introductory call with me. My background are in positive psychology, mindfulness, as well as lots of ADHD tried and true tools. I’m looking forward to working with you. Now let’s turn back to the show.
So since being diagnosed, what are some strategies or support systems that have been the most helpful for you? Cause in your background here, I can see on zoom, but [00:10:00] with audio, I’m going to describe, I see the ADHD trait cards and Rach also sent me my inattentive ADHD trait cards.
I’m curious about what kind of strategies have helped you since you figure out you have ADHD.
Rach: Yeah, I like to say an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t come with a manual and it doesn’t fix anything. It’s you learn because we obviously we’ve grown up, developed our own coping strategies, defense mechanisms, habits, probably not so good habits, and some of that is unlearning them or just doing things in a different way that best serve us.
And so for me, just the general strategies that I used to cope with my ADHD, even before I was diagnosed was gamification. I grew up as a gamer, I am very motivated by rewards or bringing fun into something. And so let’s say for example, I need to draft a document at work. And I really didn’t want to do it, but I will do this thing I call beat the clock where I was like, okay, I’m going to give myself 30 minutes.
I’m going to set a timer and I’m going to race to do it. And that’s the one thing I use [00:11:00] gamification, like method methods, and then also the reward system. So when I’m working from home and I’ve got to do some work and I’m like I’m not going to watch an episode of the series I’m binging until I finish.
So I’m, forcing myself to deliver and finish things because I want a reward. But then there’s been other general methods that work for me, like being a bit more organized, so setting reminders, making sure it’s reoccurring. So it keeps coming up, those are some that I can think of.
Ying: Awesome. Tell me more about the reward system because when I talk to my ADHD coaching clients, they oftentimes say it’s hard for them to pause the reward. They would say something like, oh, I will reward myself anyway. So I’m curious about how you tame that a little bit and make sure that you can pause that reward until you actually finish
Rach: Yeah, that’s a good one. Because you can
combine these strategies together. So if it’s purely the reward system, and my reward is another episode of something I’m binging on Netflix, I will make sure I unplug all [00:12:00] of my devices so it doesn’t even connect until I go to the other side of the room and plug it in.
And that’s, another step that I’d have to do. I’m able to psych myself out and say, just do this. And you can watch this and you won’t have to worry about it. And you can watch that thing in peace and watch another episode if needs be.
Or I lie to myself and say, if this doesn’t get done, the world’s going to end or someone’s going to ask for it before it’s due. And it’s going to be stressful because I won’t have time to turn it around. Or I tell someone, Hey, this thing you want on Friday, I’ll get it to you on Tuesday.
So I’m forced to deliver it on Tuesday because I want to be a person of my word. So things like that.
Ying: Yeah. So I’m hearing increasing frictions of certain easy actions of rewards and as well as it seems like you’re really good at self talk.
Tell me more about the cards, wonderful cards you designed.
Rach: The way they came about was quite interesting. So so much stuff online about ADHD, which is great. But I’m sure, we do struggle with a bit of information overload. [00:13:00] And it’s sometimes it’s very hard to categorize this is about ADHD and the comorbidities associated with ADHD that usually get moshed together and it’s hard to differentiate or there are really good medical studies and journals out there, but for our brains, it can be quite dry and hard to understand in layman’s terms. And so that’s what I was finding when I was, reading and learning about ADHD.
And my sister is a medical student, and when she studies, she uses these flashcards, so she writes her notes on flashcards and studies through them. And then, so I looked at her, and I was like, wow if only they had this for ADHD, everything could just be broken down. And I have an iPad, so I actually started designing, the cards on Procreate.
And the color scheme I got, I was inspired by the Grand Theft Auto Vice City case. So that’s why the colors of that. And so I said these are the ADHD traits listed in the DSM and of course the DSM isn’t perfect, but [00:14:00] we have to remember if people are seeking to learn more about ADHD and are seeking to be assessed for these traits, doctors are going to assess you based on what’s in the DSM, and it’s been a helpful starter guide to like initially understand what ADHD is
so I’ve included the traits in the DSM for ADHD inattentive type and the ADHD hyperactive impulsive type. So they’re two different types, two different packs because I have ADHD combined type, I was able to write and create for both of those types.
And the card includes a description for each trait, a reason why we may struggle with procrastination or restlessness examples in adulthood. And that’s because a lot of the examples are for kids and then finally coping strategies for people to help manage it effectively.
And I just see this as a starter pack for people who just want to understand their ADHD a bit more, who want tips, or who are going through the assessment process, which has actually helped a few people.[00:15:00]
Ying: That’s amazing. So I love the fact that you bring the traits to the adulthood. That was one of my biggest issue of reading about ADHD and a lot of the examples I encounter was about children and or in school, I’m like, this is not me. How am I translating this to adulthood in workspace?
That’s super helpful. And you play such a huge role in the ADHD online community. Tell me more about how being part of the community impacted your ADHD journey. What prompt you to share so openly on the online space?
Rach: So I never planned to be an advocate or creator. My job was to continue climbing the corporate ladder. I just did not have any interest in being like a public facing internet, whatever person, but what happened was when you’re diagnosed by the National Healthcare System, in the UK and you start medication you are provided monthly appointments with a psychiatrist just to check on how you’re going, especially with titration.
And so I eventually got diagnosed in January [00:16:00] 2020 and I had two appointments. And then March 2020 comes and then what happens? The pandemic, COVID 19. And so my in person appointments completely ceased to take place. I got a letter in a post saying, because of the pandemic, we’re closing the clinic. You’ll hear from us later.
Didn’t hear from them. And so I was like, crap, what am I going to do? I was like, there has to be a group of someone talking about ADHD. There has to be somewhere. And then I found Twitter and I started on what, 200 followers. And it was really just a place for me to ask questions.
What I loved about the ADHD community is that there was no judgment and everybody was always keen to share their experience. And then under my tweets, I saw people conversing with one another, having a really good discussion and it started to bring people together. And in parallel, I made a substack newsletter because I was like when these appointments start back up, I want to show this to my psychiatrist and I want to remember what it was like navigating life [00:17:00] with ADHD.
So I saw it as a bit of an online diary for myself, but then also people to have an informal personal friend who knew what was going on. And the last thing I’ll say on that is I was completely anonymous for one year. I didn’t have a picture. Nobody knew my name because I wanted to be able to post comfortably without feeling judged. So yeah, that’s how my story started.
Ying: We’ll take a little break from the show and talk about my ADHD coaching. So if you’re interested in accomplishing more by doing less, building your ADHD resiliency, amplifying your strengths, as well as craft your own ADHD toolbox and narratives. I’m currently taking 1 on 1 coaching clients. So feel free to visit adhdasiangirl.com/coaching and book a free coaching introductory call with me. My background are in positive psychology, mindfulness, as well as lots of ADHD tried and true tools. I’m looking forward to working with you. Now let’s turn back to the show.
[00:18:00] You still hold a full time job and you have become of a public figure in the ADHD online space. How do you walk the line of disclosing at your workplace?
Rach: I was an ex civil servant, used to work in for the government and I had said to myself I’m not going to tell my manager that I have ADHD until I pass my end of year assessments. And so I knew I was good at my job. A part of me wanted them to know me as me and not Rach has ADHD, or she’s great because she has ADHD or she’s messed it up because she has ADHD. So it started back in 2021, I was featured in the New York Times, I’m on the cover. of it. So they took a picture of me in the front of the article. And I knew my manager reads as well, we’re quite similar.
I felt like she’s probably gonna see this online. So let me tell her. And that’s how I told my manager back then I had ADHD, and she was really supportive, and read the article really loved it and was just like, Hey, what can I do to help you? Is there anything I should be [00:19:00] doing differently?
How do you like to work? So that opened up, the door for me to tell people at work that I have ADHD, but since then I’ve moved different roles and different jobs. And a lot of the times I do tell people quite upfront this is me, I have ADHD, but it still can be very uncomfortable because you don’t know what the reaction is going to be.
But I would say that I’m privileged in a sense that I’ve had a good career and I’ve done really great things for my age. So I’ve had that to fall back on.
Ying: That’s amazing. So you have had positive feedback and positive inclusion from your colleagues and managers. I know you recently just changed the job and industry, like, how do you approach this topic? Like when do you feel like, oh, it’s safe enough for me to maybe disclose this? How do you gauge that for yourself?
Rach: That’s a good question. It’s very difficult because when people ask me should they disclose that they’re neurodivergent at work and I always tell people it depends.
It depends on how comfortable you feel talking to your [00:20:00] manager, how supportive they already are. And if you need ADHD accommodations, because if you do need ADHD accommodations, let’s say access to work, then you’re going to have to disclose that you have ADHD.
And so I always tell people it depends because there are some people who have mentioned they have ADHD and they felt like they’ve been retaliated against. And they have been treated differently. And so for me, when I moved to a different industry, different workplace, I had told myself, I’m just not going to mention it just yet.
I will after three to four months. And I felt like that was enough time for me to determine how supportive and safe I felt like my manager and my team was. Recently I featured in the BBC article which went very viral. It had 1. 1 million impressions on twitter and I had people that I go to church messaging me, old colleagues that I worked with years ago, walked into the office, a new colleague had mentioned that you’re on a BBC front page and I’m like, oh my gosh, so that’s how they found out from the BBC.
Ying: Yeah, [00:21:00] that’s quite interesting. I like what you said about whether or not people need accommodation. What are some types of accommodation people could ask at workplace and have you requested them and other ways to maybe ask for them without disclosing somebody have ADHD?
Rach: So I haven’t had to ask for accommodations because I’ve just done it myself and make people adjust. But again, that’s coming from a place of privilege that I’ve worked in really good places and had good managers. And then there’s a part of my impulsive ADHD brain that just does things anyway.
So the way I’ve been able to have accommodations without asking is, for example, I’ve worked in a place where I could put headphones in and people will be fine. I’ve worked in offices that have reserved quiet areas So I can just go there outside of my designated team areas and that’s fine. One thing I have asked for is compressed hours.
So having a friday off twice a month [00:22:00] by working an extra hour a day, which is quite flexible. When I have meetings, I start meetings five past the hour. So it enables me five minutes in between a previous meeting and a meeting after to have that break. And if someone sends me a meeting that isn’t five past the hour, I just change it.
Ying: I love the five past hour. Oh my God. I need to start doing that.
Rach: You should. And then for those people who are in the UK, there’s this fund called Access to Work. So it enables you to get funding for any disability aims you need. And that includes an ADHD coach. So I think it requires filling probably long application and then getting the funding for let’s say an ADHD coach or any other assistance you may need. So that’s available.
Ying: Awesome. With your work situation I know you changed career and you changed probably main skill sets. How do you stay motivated through that process with studying and job application and stuff like that.
Rach: Those of us with ADHD, we are motivated by things we are interested in or things [00:23:00] we find purpose in and also variety, the novelty of something new is exciting and energizes and excites my brain. And so whenever I’ve made a career switch, it’s because it’s an area or role that I’ve never done that I’m really interested in.
I worked in foreign policy. I studied a lot of foreign policy. So I was really interested in that. Now I’m working in renewable energy, but it’s because I’m obsessed with it. I see it as a bit of a special interest. So I’m able to just. Do it, and it doesn’t feel like a chore because I’m interested in it, and I find that with a lot of things I do struggle with as a result of my ADHD, it’s things that I find mundane, routine and just not as interesting.
Ying: So use your curiosity and interest to motivate yourself.
Rach: Yeah, and I like learning about new things. I feel like my brain needs to be stimulated. Like I need to find something new to learn. And so a question I get a lot is would I do ADHD advocacy full time when I be a creator full time. And I took a six months career [00:24:00] break last year and I was just like, I’m going crazy.
I started studying for a Amazon cloud practitioner course. And I got the certificate and passed, but I need to be stimulated. And I liked the environment of talking to different people, spinning different plates.
And I guess it comes natural when you’re passionate about something and we’re sharing our lived experience. It’s natural, whereas in the workplace, like strategizing, problem solving, speaking to different people to come to a solution. It’s more doing the thing. And I don’t think I could bring that over to ADHD advocacy because then it becomes inauthentic.
And this becomes more about what you can get out of it versus what you can give to people. And I think that’s what it should be about.
Ying: It seems like your workplace enables you to use different parts of your strength, which you talked about, like strategizing, speaking to people, bringing people to solutions. That brings me to my question of how do you personally now relate to ADHD cause I know there’s a huge debate out there, is ADHD a superpower or not?
Rach: Yeah, one thing I tell you is [00:25:00] that everyone’s own experience is valid and it’s not going to be a one size fits all approach. I think intersectionality is very important, race, class, your environment where you live can really exacerbate how people experience ADHD. And so how I relate to it, I feel like for me, there are challenges that are very real that has set me back in life when you think about ADHD tax, which is what I spoke about in the BBC, just really bad financial decisions. But then there’s also strengths. with the fact that my impulsive ADHD brain has led me to opportunities that I probably wouldn’t have had because I’ve been okay taking that risk and I just don’t think about it.
So changing different careers and studying abroad, doing things where people say, wait, I can’t believe you’ve done that. And for me, I didn’t really think about it. I just done it. So I think there are challenges that I do experience, but then there are also strengths that I’m happy about.
Ying: That’s brings me to the question, how [00:26:00] does AHD play out at your workplace? Cause the stuff you have mentioned, like policy and renewable energy, stuff like that could be very detail oriented. So how do you manage to work in those areas?
Rach: So when I worked in government, I worked in procurement, contract management and policy. It is detail oriented. But I find writing comes naturally to me Which is why I’ve been consistent on substack because I don’t think I just write so getting things out. It’s really weird because most of my parents my sisters are very maths and science. And I just like to write.
So It helps that writing comes very natural to me.
What I do find challenging is having to draft and write long documents that’s due within a short amount of time. That’s when I have to use things like gamification, the reward system, or something else that helps me is listen to a podcast on in the background, because it motivates me to keep going. So I think with that procrastination is a big issue.
But the actual thing that I’m doing, I’m very interested in. I also [00:27:00] like that the roles that I have done has involved me speaking to so many different stakeholders, coming up with different solutions and so yeah, I feel like I’ve been lucky enough to do jobs that helps me play to my strengths, or jobs that I just like generally.
And the time that I did the job that I didn’t was when I went to finance, I quit in eight months. So yeah.
Ying: Yeah. So the big story is doing what we love.
Awesome. I think this is a good natural ending point for our episode. Are there any last words, last thoughts you want to get out before the end of the episode?
Rach: Yeah. One thing I will say is that if you think you have ADHD don’t let what in the newspapers or negative stereotypes dissuade you from getting the support if you’re able to. I think with anything, when there’s a lot of awareness and ignorance, a lot of people don’t know what they’re speaking about.
And so yes, you can have ADHD if you’re an adult, it was missed in childhood and it’s never too late to seek the support that you deserve to have. [00:28:00] Don’t be too hard on yourself and give yourself some grace.
Ying: Love that. Thank you so much, for being on my podcast.
Rach: No worries. Thanks for having me.
Ying: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you enjoy today’s episode, please feel free to drop a comment and review on apple podcasts or Spotify podcast. Or send me a DM on social media or send me an email to adhdasiangirl@gmail.com Sending lots of love to you and have a good day.